Dear God,
Thanks for everything good and bad. I have no one to speak to but you, of course you don't need that because you know what is in my heart and the smile I cheat to hide my wounds. I try to push myself everyday go on with my life, be strong and smile and say i am ok and i am not broken but i don't recognise myself anymore. I used to smile everyday when I wake up and say I will do something good,make others happy, I used to feel that you love me and am not alone I was satisfied for being me and only with you. I am sorry for whatever I did in my life, I am really sorry. I stray away from people, because I am not me anymore, I don't trust myself nor others around me. I can't tell them it is going to be fine, because I don't feel it within. I can't tell them as long as you are good you won't get hurt, I used to make people stand have their backs in my worse and best cases. But once I fell, I can see the gloat how this moment people around waited for, how they wanted me to stay down, how they left and mock me to see my tears. All i wanted to say is Why? ... Just why? If even you don't have any bad intention to anyone hurt you badly and you keep holding to the good part of yourself, then Why?. What did I do or say to be hated that much, why all that ?...I don't have anyone to talk to but you and I actually don't want to speak with anyone but you, I don't even have the will of dealing with any person. I am sorry God, the girl I knew is dead, I fought a lot to have her back, to love being alive but I failed. I am sorry for whatever I did that made me deserve to fall in a black hole and not be able to come out of it whole again.
Thanks for everything good and bad. I have no one to speak to but you, of course you don't need that because you know what is in my heart and the smile I cheat to hide my wounds. I try to push myself everyday go on with my life, be strong and smile and say i am ok and i am not broken but i don't recognise myself anymore. I used to smile everyday when I wake up and say I will do something good,make others happy, I used to feel that you love me and am not alone I was satisfied for being me and only with you. I am sorry for whatever I did in my life, I am really sorry. I stray away from people, because I am not me anymore, I don't trust myself nor others around me. I can't tell them it is going to be fine, because I don't feel it within. I can't tell them as long as you are good you won't get hurt, I used to make people stand have their backs in my worse and best cases. But once I fell, I can see the gloat how this moment people around waited for, how they wanted me to stay down, how they left and mock me to see my tears. All i wanted to say is Why? ... Just why? If even you don't have any bad intention to anyone hurt you badly and you keep holding to the good part of yourself, then Why?. What did I do or say to be hated that much, why all that ?...I don't have anyone to talk to but you and I actually don't want to speak with anyone but you, I don't even have the will of dealing with any person. I am sorry God, the girl I knew is dead, I fought a lot to have her back, to love being alive but I failed. I am sorry for whatever I did that made me deserve to fall in a black hole and not be able to come out of it whole again.
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